Gloomy | 3.21.17

Our first day attempting to do some schoolwork in the travel trailer, I took a freezing cold shower because I don’t understand how to make the trailer make hot water. I flipped the water heater switch and waited about 20 minutes, tested it in the sink and it felt warm after a few seconds, but as soon as I got naked and into the shower I realized that this icy water was not going to get any warmer. Instead of getting back into my dirty clothes and showering in the main house later on, I decided to just commit. You’re already naked, you’re already all wet, you’re already freezing cold, and you’re already wearing your super sexy purple and white polka dotted shower cap; just do it. It doesn’t help that it is also rainy and gloomy out today, so as I got out of my shower in the freezer, the trailer itself wasn’t any more welcoming. I did, however, figure out that I can sit on my bed to do my makeup and use the mirror on the closet door if I just open the closet a bit, so there’s that.

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I have been so grumpy today in general. I don’t like this weather at all. I have tried to stay active, very unlike my normal pattern, instead of laying around feeling worse about the day and feeling guilty for my funk. I made our bed, and broke down my daughters bed to turn it back into the table. I took an icy shower and got myself ready for the day. Then, made the kids breakfast and set off the smoke alarm twice using the convection microwave for the first time. Fought with my son for a half an hour making him actually eat breakfast. Washed breakfast dishes and then put away the last of the laundry that was leftover from yesterday. Somehow it was already time to feed the kids lunch, so I made that while chatting with my sister-in-law on the phone. Finally got both kids dressed for the day. Set my son up with a movie in hopes that he’d nap, which I’m happy to report actually worked, and set my daughter up for starting school. I swept and wiped the floors down, and emptied our little trash in the dumpster out in the horse barn. Now, we’re working on completing school, and the lunch dishes are still waiting for me.

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First breakfast in the R-pod
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Finishing up our “C for Cow” unit

Doing school in the R-pod, today at least, has actually gone really well. We’re both set up at the dining table together. I’m working on writing this while I wait for her to complete the various assignments and tasks I give her. She already complained that we “didn’t do very much school today”, while we are still doing school, so I think she’s enjoying it.

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Part of me loves all of this; the close quarters, how quickly I can clean and tidy everything up, how different from the norm it all is. And then at the same time part of me isn’t sure what to feel. I don’t think it really has to do with the trailer itself. I sort of feel like it’s partly because it is tough depending on other people for basic things like a warm shower or being able to do laundry. We’ve only been here a few days so I’m sure we haven’t yet begun to overstay our welcome but I feel like that moment is looming before me and that makes me uneasy. If there is anything I hate being, it’s a burden. This ranch is also at the top of a mountain and our R-pod is perched near the edge of a decent drop off, which makes for a gorgeous view, but it’s also scary with the high winds they seem to always have here in the evenings. I keep experiencing moments of panic that we’re going to wake up as we’re going over the edge. Of course, we haven’t budged an inch since we’ve parked here but that doesn’t stop me from being irrational. It’s a really strange sensation to be learning how to live in a travel trailer while actually living in a travel trailer. You’re moving about, cooking, cleaning, and living while hoping nothing unknown and sinister is happening behind the scenes.

I’m hopeful we get some better weather sometime this week and that we can get out and explore the area a bit. I’m also looking forward to Jason getting off of work and only being 20 minutes from home versus the 1 hour 20 minutes it took when we were in Tehachapi.

Tonight Jason is going to pick us up and take us back into town to return a couple of things that we got for the trailer that don’t work (a ginormous blue laundry bag that my entire family could fit into, and a memory foam mattress cover that had a huge cut across it like they accidentally sliced it with a box cutter when unloading them), and maybe I’ll find one or two things that could help further organize our little space. Our general clutter is already worlds better than it was a couple of days ago, and I anticipate it’ll only get easier as we find our groove.

Silver linings, people.




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